| For Disclaimers & Comments, see the
Prologue
ACT V (Ops. TENFLY and BARCLAY are both looking at one of the sensor readouts) BARCLAY: I don't have a *whole* lot of experience with them, but it looks to me like it's temporal *and* spatial. TENFLY: I'd better find Sisko. (Exits. We cut to the stage area, where GARAK is chastising ODO with zest and enthusiasm) ODO: (ironically) Mercy. Mercy. GARAK: How could you let this happen! I understood you were to be watching! ODO: I was only away for a minute. GARAK: Well, see if you can find him. ODO: (looking at an onstage monitor) Master ... AUDIENCE: BATOR! (ODO can't help grimacing) ODO: We have a visitor. (Closeup on the monitor. It shows a man who is not Sisko. He's a tall man in a trenchcoat, with short brown hair, a prominent chin and a full, sensuous underlip. He seems disoriented and edgy.) O'BRIEN: (surprised, but playing through it) Hey, Scotty! Dr. Everett Scott! ODO: You know this earthling? (Cut to OPHIDIA and ALTARIA, watching from the floor) ALTARIA: That's not the understudy. OPHIDIA: (Resigned) No, it's not. GARAK: But this Doctor Everett Scott ... his name is not unknown to me. O'BRIEN: He's a science teacher at Denton High School. GARAK: (advancing on O'BRIEN, hands on hips and head tossing) And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Brad? He's attached to the Bureau of Investigations of that which *you* call U F Os! Isn't that right, Brad? (OPHIDIA finally recognizes the man on the screen) OPHIDIA: SHIT. Ophidia to Barclay -- BARCLAY: Reg here. The understudy's here and he's ready to go. (The man on the screen turns, surprised by something behind him) OPHIDIA: NO!! NO, don't beam him -- (Too late. The man on the screen materializes in the middle of the stage floor) O'BRIEN: Great Scott! (The man in the trenchcoat spots GARAK, O'BRIEN and ODO, panics, and whips a gun out of his trenchoat) MULDER: Freeze! Federal agent! (OPHIDIA bangs her head on the railing in despair. GARAK laughs dismissively, walking slowly toward him) GARAK: Oh, no. I don't think so, sweetie. (Plucks the gun from the ands of the stunned MULDER) I'm the only one allowed to play with dangerous toys in this house. (Sashays over to the steps and sits down, crossing his legs and dangling the gun from one languid hand) OPHIDIA: Ophidia to Garak! GARAK: (toying absently with the gun) So. Dr. Everett Scott. We meet at last. (MULDER is still trying to figure out who Garak's talking to. Cut to SISKO's quarters, where SCULLY is backing SISKO up to the wall) SCULLY: Turn around slowly and put your hands on the wall. SISKO: Who are you? What are you doing here? SCULLY: (frisking him) I'll ask the questions. (Cut back to the stage. GARAK advances on MULDER) GARAK: Don't play games, Dr. Scott. You
know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your
plan, was it not, that he and his... female ... should check the layout
before you arrived? (MULDER
ALTARIA: I thought she didn't write crossovers. OPHIDIA: Obviously little miss genre purist decided my life wasn't complicated *enough.* (Back to the floor, where MULDER is beginning to freak out a tad) MULDER: I have no idea what this -- Brad -- is doing here, much less why he's in his underwear. I came here looking for a man named Krycheck. (The cast looks perturbed. KIRA emerges from the sidelines to cover) KIRA: He means Eddie. OPHIDIA: Oh, Kira, what are you doing -- KIRA: (stomping toward a frightened MULDER) Krychek was Eddie's last name. Not that any of you maggots every bothered to find that out. You never cared about him, never, not like -- OPHIDIA: Ophidia to Keiko -- guys, help her out -- (KEIKO and BASHIR stick their heads up out of the tank) AUDIENCE: Janet! (MULDER looks around trying to find out where the voices are coming from) KEIKO: Dr. Scott! O'BRIEN: Janet! KEIKO: Brad! GARAK: Rocky! AUDIENCE: HUNH! (MULDER, completely freaked out now, watches this go around a couple more times, snapping his head back and forth as if he's watching a particularly gripping tennis match. Finally he figures out that he's supposed to be Dr. Scott) KEIKO: Dr. Scott! MULDER: (pulling out his badge and attempting to ground himself by repeating) My name is Mulder, I'm a federal agent -- GARAK: Mulder! (Slinking up to him) What
a ... lovely name. Is there more, or is that all? (As MULDER tries to put
his badge away, GARAK nabs it, reading it and then tucking it into his
corset) Fox! And aren't you just.
MULDER: (getting nervous) I've had it with playing games and answering riddles. Now you have my weapon and you have my badge. Either kill me, or tell me what's going on. GARAK: (shivering with sarcastic delight) Ooooooh ... tell me, Mr. Fox, are all ... federal agents ... as forceful and firm as you are? BASHIR: (jealously) URRRRRRRRRGH! GARAK: (Pulls MULDER forward with one hand, chucking him under the chin with the barrel of the gun) Well, Fox. Now that I've got your ... weapon... (Laughs and presses in closer, snaking an arm around MULDER's waist and dropping into a stage whisper) What do you think I should *do* with it? OPHIDIA: Deanna, make your entrance now, before -- (DEANNA bursts in, striking the gong) DEANNA: Master! AUDIENCE: BATOR! DEANNA: Dinner is prepared! (GARAK smiles and pauses dramatically; in the interval the audience shouts) AUDIENCE: SO HOW *WAS* SEX WITH CAPTAIN PICARD? (DEANNA and O'BRIEN almost lose it) GARAK: Excellent! (GARAK goes behind MULDER,
takes the collar of his trenchcoat in one hand, and rips it off him in
one movement, exposing his usual conservative suit. MULDER steels himself,
clearly believing this is a prelude to being anaesthetized and put on a
dissecting table) I see Mr. Fox, whatever he may lack in social polish,
at least has the grace to arrive properly attired. For the rest of you,
under the circumstances ... formal dress is to be optional.
(Cut to SISKO's quarters, where SCULLY has the gun trained on him) SCULLY: So you're telling me that I've
been pulled into the future and across thousands of light years by some
anomaly you can't adequately describe to a space station owned and operated
by an intergalactic
SISKO: Has probably walked right into the middle of our local production of *The Rocky Horror Picture Show.* SCULLY: Mr. Sisko, I've heard my share
of farfetched theories, but this ...
(Back to the stage. The dinner scene is staged in the infirmary around one of the biobeds, which has been converted into a table. MULDER has just been forced into a seat by KIRA. The table is lit from above and the audience stands around it in the darkened area, invisible. As ODO and DEANNA distribute the meat, MULDER attempts to get KIRA to talk to him) MULDER: You're a hybrid too, aren't you? Or is that (her nose) a graft? You said you knew Krychek -- (GARAK lifts his glass) GARAK: A toast! (They are pelted with toast from all sides by the audience. MULDER flails as if he's been shot) To absent friends. COMPANY: (except for MULDER, who is still trying frantically to locate the toast throwers) To absent friends. MULDER: (as GARAK continues, to KIRA) Who brought you here? Where are we? KIRA: Never mind that, I want to hear about Eddie. (MULDER stares. GARAK covers for him) GARAK: That's a rather tender subject. (Lifts the electric knife) Another slice? (KEIKO looks down at her plate) AUDIENCE: Janet gets it ... (O'BRIEN drops his drumstick) Brad gets it ... MULDER: (clearly unnerved) Gets what? What's -- (looks down at his own plate) Euuuurrrrrrgh! AUDIENCE: Scott gets it ... (MULDER looks as if he's about to throw up. BASHIR continues chewing lustily) Rocky gets it, but he doesn't give a shit! KIRA: Excuse me. (Exits; from without we
hear howls of rage. GARAK looks expectantly at MULDER, who fails to realize
that it's time for the song cue. They wait. Finally GARAK decides it's
not gonna happen, and pulls the
GARAK: I'll tell you once, I'll tell you twice, you better wise up, Janet Weiss ... (MULDER, meanwhile, has leapt onto the table and it trying to determine whether the remains are human or alien. He can't.) MULDER: I should have taken anatomy when I had the chance. Cannibalism, organ harvesting, genetic engineering ... my God, it's all happening right here ... (runs out onto the promenade to see O'BRIEN, KEIKO, and ROCKY lined up with GARAK by the transducer switch. He charges up to stand with them) MULDER: (to O'BRIEN and KEIKO) Are you both abductees? Some kind of breeding pair? How did they bring you -- GARAK: The transducer
KEIKO: My feet! I can't move my feet! (MULDER lifts his, carefully, one by one; they clearly can still be moved.) O'BRIEN: It's as if we're glued to the spot! MULDER: Listen, it's all in your mind! KEIKO: We're trapped! GARAK: (maniacally) So quake with fear, you tiny mortals! MULDER: You won't find that all humans
respond so easily to your suggestion! This ... sonic transducer ... of
course it's some kind of audiophyiscologicomolecular transmission device?
(GARAK is amazed that
O'BRIEN: You mean -- MULDER: (now sure that he's stumbled across the mother of all government conspiracies) There have been rumors for years in the underground that our government was experimenting with a device capable of energizing matter and transporting it through space -- AUDIENCE: YEAH! WE CALL IT A TRANSPORTER! MULDER: -- but there's never been any proof.
(Looking at GARAK with an epiphany breaking in on him) Of *course* that
technology could only have been provided by aliens in return for the right
to experiment on human
KEIKO: You mean we're going to be taken to another planet? GARAK: Planet shmanet, Janet! (Gets ready by the switch) Don't get hot and flustered! Use a bit of mustard ... O'BRIEN: You're a hot dog, but you'd better not try to hurt her ... (GARAK flips the switch; O'BRIEN is apparently turned into a statue. MULDER gawks and goes over to examine the statue) OPHIDIA: Barclay, get him the hell off the stage! BARCLAY: I can't! The transporters from the stage to Ops are wired through the switch. I can only control the ones from Ops to the stage. OPHIDIA: Remind me why we did it this way? BARCLAY: It was easier to keep the beams from getting crossed. And anyway we can't do anything until Scott gets back on his mark. (Back to the stage, where everyone but MULDER has now been turned into a statue. MULDER finally loses it) MULDER: (to GARAK) I don't know what you are or whose DNA they stole to make you or where these -- zombie drones -- (the audience) came from but your little exchange program is going to come to an end right now. You may think you're safe as long as our government can maintain full denial, but you can't deal in this *merchandise* any longer. I know how they made you and I know they're trying to make more and don't think they'll be able to keep this quiet just by setting fire to a couple of boxcars. You're coming back with me as proof but first you're going to tell me what you've done with my sister! (He is now nearly hysterical, but he is standing where Scott is supposed to stand. GARAK watches him end his outburst) GARAK: Hmmmm, yes, I think we'd better learn our part *before* we try improvising, hadn't we, darling? (The audience laughs; GARAK flips the switch; MULDER disappears and is replaced by a statue of SISKO. Cut to Ops, where BASHIR, KEIKO, KIRA and O'BRIEN are hurriedly changing into their floor show costumes. MULDER materializes; the others immediately begin chewing him out) O'BRIEN: What the bloody hell do you think you're playing at? BASHIR: "Krychek?" How'd you get that out of "Eddie? KEIKO: You realize we had to cut an entire number because you forgot -- KIRA: May the Prophets wither your sinews and blight your loins! Your *sister*? Zombie drones? DNA? What planet are *you* on? MULDER: You tell me! BASHIR: (Handing him a pair of fishnets and a corset) All right, all right, there's no help for it now, just put these on, we don't have much time. MULDER: (as BASHIR brandishes the costume
at him) NO! I'm not putting that--(KIRA, fed up, starts trying to strip
MULDER, who struggles) I won't be one of your laboratory animals and I
won't -- (as things threaten to get
OPHIDIA: Agent Mulder -- MULDER: Who are you? OPHIDIA: Listen to me -- MULDER: What have you done with Scully? OPHIDIA: (snapping) She's in the specimen
tank with Samantha! (MULDER freezes in shock. OPHIDIA advances furiously)
That's right, Mulder, we've got them both in stasis, and if you ever want
to see either one alive again you're going to PUT ON THE FISHNETS and do
*exactly* as I say! (MULDER looks around, sees that he is unarmed and outnumbered,
and starts meekly undressing.)
(Cut to SISKO's quarters) SISKO: If I were lying, wouldn't I make
up something more plausible? (SCULLY considers this) Just let me take you
down to the promenade and show you. I'll even let you keep the gun
to my head. (SCULLY accepts the
(Cut to the stage, where the floor show
is in progress. MULDER is dressed, like the others, in a corset, garter
belt, fishnet stockings, stiletto heels, feather boa, spangled gloves,
and mime-type makeup, and is watching
KIRA: It was great when it all began
(Cut to SCULLY, who has forgotten about SISKO and is working her way through the crowd, her mouth agape as she stares up at MULDER. BASHIR advances to grind through his verse) BASHIR: I'm just seven hours old
(MULDER assumes it's now his turn, and fearful that any further mistakes will cost him his only chance to see Samantha again, launches into a song and dance, imitating the others' movements and making up his own verse as he goes along) MULDER: It's hard to keep your head straight
when
OPHIDIA: You're dragging, Mulder! MULDER: (rushing) Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from all my trouble and pain ... (MULDER follows the others through the rest of the dance and moves off to the side as the pool opens and GARAK descends on the lift) GARAK: Give yourselves over to absolute pleasure ... (We pan around the audience. LIke most of the other spectators, LWAXANA and MORN are watching rapt; the Kai is shocked and disgusted; HENAK and the vedeks appear to be awestruck; SCULLY is clearly battling serious cognitive dissonance. Cut back to the pool, where KIRA has just tossed MULDER in and jumped in after him. GARAK is now the center of a tangle of writhing bodies) GARAK: Don't dream it,
(MULDER panics and starts dogpaddling away; KIRA grabs him and tows him back to the center. The others move back slightly as KIRA offers him to GARAK. GARAK looks at him solemnly, smiles, then pulls him into a long, slow, deep kiss. MULDER initially flails, then calms down, then finally succumbs, wrapping himself around GARAK and clinging to him like a limpet. GARAK finally pushes him off; MULDER tries to get back to him but is diverted by KIRA. GARAK rises out of the pool) GARAK: I'm a wild and an untamed thing
... (The rest of the cast pulls MULDER into the kickline. We cut to SCULLY,
who we think may be beginning to enjoy this, although from her expression
it's hard to tell. It takes
ODO: Frankenfurter, it's all over ... (Cut to OPHIDIA and ALTARIA) ALTARIA: See, Fifi, it's still working. OPHIDIA: I am in hell. (Back to the stage, where GARAK is beginning his final number) GARAK: On the day I went away ... (He moves
into the audience, putting into it all the pathos and intensity that we
saw in the dress rehearsal. MULDER watches him, fascinated. The audience,
which is sitting in the floor show theater, stands and waves at him as
he passes down the aisle. SCULLY watches with particular interest, and
indeed brings out a small vial and a scalpel with the apparent intention
of obtaining a tissue sample, but
ODO: I would leave now, while it is still possible. We are preparing to beam the entire house back to Transylvania. AUDIENCE: I NEED MORE POWER TO THE TRANSPORTERS, SCOTTY! (We see MULDER squinting, for the thousandth time in his life, into a bright white light as the house dematerializes. The lights die on everyone but QUARK) QUARK: And crawling on the planet's face ... (OPHIDIA charges around to where MULDER and the others are waiting in Quark's for the curtain call) MULDER: (to GARAK , in wonder) Who *are* you? GARAK: Ah, that's a complicated question. QUARK: (from offstage) ... and lost in space. And meaning. (MULDER attempts to talk to OPHIDIA: the cast shushes him as she waits anxiously for the reaction. There is a tense pause, and then the audience breaks into a deafening burst of applause) OPHIDIA: Oh my God. They liked it. BASHIR: Of course they liked it. (Smiles up at GARAK. The music to "Science Fiction Double Feature" starts up; OPHIDIA drags MULDER out onto the stage for the curtain call) MULDER: (over his shoulder to GARAK) Don't -- don't go anywh -- GARAK: (watching OPHIDIA yank him out) I can't believe I never noticed *him* before. Where's he been hiding, engineering? ODO: Garak ... that's not the understudy. (OPHIDIA pulls MULDER in front of the audience; she lifts his hand and jerks him into a bow. The audience starts cheering. As OPHIDIA pulls him back up, we cut to SCULLY in the audience, who is clapping and hollering) SCULLY: WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO! MUL-DERRRRRRRRR!!! (He hears his name and looks out at her. She makes eye contact and smirks sardonically) MULDER: Scully! Scully, what's -- (OPHIDIA drags him offstage; as KIRA and QUARK take their call he turns on her) MUDLER: It was all a lie, wasn't it? OPHIDIA: (preoccupied) What? MULDER: About my sister -- OPHIDIA: (exploding) Of *course* it was a lie, do I *look* like an intimate associate of Cancer Man? Honestly, you are *so* gullible! (Cut to backstage) GARAK: Well, yes, I realized he wasn't a *good* understudy, but ... (perturbed) Goodness. What must he think? ODO: (amused) He probably thinks you like
him. (He and DEANNA take their curtain call. They move off and are followed
on by O'BRIEN and KEIKO; the audience claps louder, and there are a few
good-natured cries of "Asshole!" and "Slut!" They go off; BASHIR emerges,
prompting wild screaming and cheering. He bows, smiling sheepishly. Several
members of the audience toss underwear and guest quarters key cards at
him. One particularly insistent admirer climbs up onto the stage and attempts
to tuck something into his
BASHIR: My God, they're *animals*! AUDIENCE: (Chanting and clapping in rhythm)
FRANK-IE! FRANK-IE! FRANK-IE!! (GARAK emerges. The crowd leaps to its feet,
stomping and cheering. GARAK takes his bow. BASHIR runs on stage with a
bunch of flowers and presents them to him. GARAK takes a bow with BASHIR,
then goes off. There is a giant
SISKO: So it turned out all right, then. DAX: (looking at MULDER, who is hauled
by the cast into another company bow) Is that what the anomaly dragged
in? (SISKO nods) If we run into it again, I volunteer to lead the away
team. (SISKO laughs)
(Cut to BASHIR and GARAK in their bathroom, having changed out of their costumes. BASHIR is taking GARAK's makeup off with some white goop) BASHIR: It's just cold cream. I checked. GARAK: Julian ... I hope you don't mind ... it seemed like the appropriate thing to -- BASHIR: Don't be silly. It was exactly
what Frankie would have done. I thought it was a beautiful moment. And
I'm sure he did too. Poor man looks like he hasn't had it in months. There,
I think it's all gone. (GARAK looks
GARAK: (touching his face) It's so strange ... I spent so long preparing, and now it's all over. (BASHIR puts his arms around him and they look at themselves in the mirror) BASHIR: It doesn't have to be. (GARAK looks at him) I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of replicating that choker if I thought you were only going to get one wearing out of it. (GARAK smiles. More seriously) Everything you put on that stage came from inside you. You can bring it out again any time you want. With or without the costume. For me. GARAK: Just for you. BASHIR: I'm a lucky man. GARAK: So am I.
(Cut to Quark's; ROM is cleaning up while QUARK counts his latinum behind the bar) ROM: You were wonderful, Brother. Moogie would be so proud. QUARK: Ah, my part was nothing. A trained
rock snorr could have done it. But I must say I'm proud of one thing. I
am the first Ferengi in history to make a profit from an amateur production.
(Cut to OPHIDIA and ALTARIA, finishing a late-night snack on the Promenade and getting ready to go home) OPHIDIA: I'm glad I never *wanted* to be a motorcycle dyke, since I clearly don't have what it takes. ALTARIA: The number, actually, worked very well, or at least that's what I heard from the audience. I was too worried to really enjoy it. OPHIDIA: You were wonderful. Especially when you took out poor Worf. ALTARIA: Ophidia, it was all wonderful, even with all the changes. Garak was fantastic and everyone liked it. OPHIDIA: Garak was incredible, but the show itself ... ALTARIA: You're too hard on yourself, Fifi. (As they walk off, they pass MULDER and SCULLY, who are headed toward their guest suite. MULDER is in his suit but still has his makeup on. They travel down to their quarters and open the door. MULDER immediately claims the couch; SCULLY takes her bag into the bedroom) SCULLY: You're telling me you've *never* seen Rocky Horror? MULDER: (undressing as he moves into the bathroom) This may surprise you, Scully, but I was never that interested in science fiction growing up. I thought it was too unrealistic. SCULLY: So you had no idea it was a play. MULDER: (defensive, but also appreciating the humor of the situation) No. SCULLY: Wasn't the audience a clue? MULDER: You'd think, wouldn't you? (after a pause) Scully? SCULLY: What? MULDER: (a little panicky) It won't come off. (SCULLY pokes her head into the bathroom where MULDER, in his boxers, is attempting to remove his makeup using only water and a facecloth. She takes out her cosmetics case) SCULLY: Here, let me. (Starts wiping off
his makeup. They look at each other from very close up and fall very quiet.)
(We cut to KIRA and DEANNA, back in KIRA's quarters. KIRA looks at herself in the mirror) KIRA: At least now I can take off the tattoos. DEANNA: (sadly) Oh ... yes, I suppose you'll want to. KIRA: Well ... I could leave them ... they'll
wear off on their own in a couple of days ...
(Cut to O'BRIEN's quarters, where he and KEIKO are saying goodnight to MOLLY, who is in bed with her warthog) MOLLY: Was Mommy good? O'BRIEN: Mommy was very good. MOLLY: Was Daddy good? KEIKO: Daddy was good too. MOLLY: Was Uncle Julian good? KEIKO: Yes, he was very good. Everyone was good. MOLLY: Why couldn't I go see the show? O'BRIEN: We'll let you watch the video when you're older. KEIKO: No we won't. MOLLY: Why not? O'BRIEN: Goodnight, sweetie. (They kiss her goodnight and move into their own bedroom, where they start undressing) KEIKO: She's *never* going to see that video. O'BRIEN: You're probably right. (Looks at her wistfully) KEIKO: What? O'BRIEN: I don't suppose ... KEIKO: What? O'BRIEN: No, it's silly. KEIKO: What, Miles? O'BRIEN: Could ... could *I* be your creature of the night? (KEIKO smiles) Look! (Does the Rocky pose) Urrgh! KEIKO: A little feeble, but we can work
on it. (O'BRIEN grins.)
(MULDER and SCULLY's quarters. SCULLY is in bed with the lights off, but is staring up at the ceiling. So, on the couch, is MULDER.) SCULLY: Mulder? MULDER: Yeah? SCULLY: Am I really all that's keeping
you sane, or were you just stuck for a rhyme? (MULDER doesn't answer) Mulder?
(Unconvincing snoring sounds proceed from the living area.) Mulder, I know
you're not asleep. (Nothing.)
(The next day, on the Promenade. At a stall QUARK is selling commemorative Rocky Horror T-shirts and coffee mugs. MULDER is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee, brooding. GARAK and BASHIR pass by on their way to the replicators. From a distance we see them converse, then BASHIR nods and moves off with the food to a different table as GARAK approaches MULDER) GARAK: Mind if I join you? (MULDER jumps) MULDER: I ... GARAK: I'm speaking figuratively, of course. MULDER: (embarrassed) No ... no, please. (Indicates the seat opposite; GARAK takes it) GARAK: We haven't been formally introduced.
(Ops. SISKO and DAX are talking to SCULLY) SCULLY: You claim you still have no idea what caused this anomaly. DAX Agent Scully, if we understood them, we wouldn't call them anomalies. SISKO: Until we know more about what created the rift in the space-time continuum we won't be able to send you back. We'll be happy to provide anything you need as long as you're -- SCULLY: Thank you, you've been very kind. (She exits) SISKO: You'd think she didn't trust us.
(Back to the Promenade) GARAK: Well, that depends, Fox. Whose government are we talking about? MULDER: Well, say, your government. GARAK: Ah, but the question of who *my* government is is even more complicated. MULDER: (giving up this line) You say you're a pure alien. GARAK: My dear Fox, I'm not a *pure* anything. MULDER: (irritated) Don't call me that. (to GARAK's raised eye ridges) Nobody calls me that. GARAK: Not even your charming partner? MULDER: Especially not her. GARAK: (insinuatingly) Oh, Mr. Fox. *Especially?* MULDER: (changing the topic) You say you're a Cardassian. GARAK: That's what my mother told me. MULDER: Do your people ... do you have ... paranormal abilities? Telepathy, telekinesis, precognition, suggestion ... GARAK: Now, Mr. Fox. If we do, you can hardly expect us to *advertise* that, can you? (Pause) I'm afraid you'll have to come up with another explanation. MULDER: For what? GARAK: For your ... performance. (MULDER glares at him, hurt, angry and confused) MULDER: (lowering his voice) *Something* happened to me. I couldn't -- I wouldn't -- I've never -- GARAK: I know. (Pause. A la Frankie) But
wasn't it *nice.* (GARAK gets up with a smile and walks to BASHIR, leaving
MULDER to brood.)
(Ops. DAX and SISKo are arguing with OPHIDIA and ALTARIA) OPHIDIA: An encore performance? Are you trying to kill me? DAX: It's all we can think of. SISKO: Standard procedure is to try to recreate the conditions in which the anomaly appeared. In this case -- OPHIDIA: You're telling me our show affected the space-time continuum? SISKO: It was a *very* powerful performance. (OPHIDIA glares) OPHIDIA: If you can get the rest of the cast to agree ... SISKO: Fantastic. You know, it really was wonderful. I think it was better without me, actually. (Moves off to his office) ALTARIA: Ophidia ... OPHIDIA: Yes? ALTARIA: Anomaly or no anomaly, you are
*not* getting back on that motorcycle.
(Cut to SCULLY, in leather, roaring through the vault entrance on the bike) SCULLY: Whatever happened to Saturday night ... (She takes the bike handily down the ramp, bringing it around the tank to stop by KIRA, who climbs aboard; they take off for a tour of the lab floor) We'd listen to the music on the radio ... (Cut to the audience, which is watching from the balcony and which includes MULDER, who is ... interested. Closeup of SCULLY, grinning maniacally and having way too much fun as she guns the engines) SCULLY: Hot patootie, bless my soul ... DAX: (coming up to MULDER) The anomaly has returned. We should be able to send you through shortly. (Looks down on the scene below. SCULLY is dancing with KIRA) SCULLY: Hot patootie, bless my soul --
MULDER: Does she have time to finish the number? DAX Oh sure. (They settle back to watch.)
(SCULLY is sitting in her office, typing her report with her usual poker face. In her usual dispassionate voiceover) SCULLY: The anomaly that allegedly transported
us to the future and back has yet to be explained. Despite the evident
good will and considerate treatment that, on the whole, we met with, I
continue to be skeptical about
MULDER: (From behind her) Aww! But that's my favorite part! (SCULLY jumps and stands up, knocking her chair over as she faces him) SCULLY: Don't sneak up on me like that! MULDER: So you think this is a look I should cultivate? SCULLY: I ... well ... MULDER: I've been thinking about it, Scully. (SCULLY waits) I'm thinking that if I had wanted to, even given the time constraints, I could probably have come up with another rhyme. (Meaningful glances exchanged.) SCULLY: So ... MULDER: So. (After a pregnant pause, he pulls two tickets out of his pocket. Smirking) Dinner and a movie? SCULLY: (cracking a smile) All right. (She hefts her bag) We should stop by the cafeteria and pick up some rice and -- (MULDER holds up a capacious paper bag) MULDER: I'm way ahead of you, Scully. (They walk off together) Don't you think Skinner would make a good Rocky? SCULLY: (in all seriousness, considering it) Yes. Yes, I think he would. (Fade out) THE END
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